Challenging narratives of perfection in healing
This is going to be a short post, and it is intended for reflection and inquiry. I invite you to think about your own healing journey—whether in therapy or other means of growth—and consider how perfectionism may have played a role in your expectations of the process (and of yourself).
The lotus flower reminds us that it’s OK to fall apart and experience regrowth sometimes. We don’t always have to be on an upward trajectory.
Recovery is not about feeling good all the time
When I started to heal, I thought I was going to free myself from everything that was challenging me. As I continued (and continue) to move through the process, I began to think that I can allow my challenges, my triggers, and my symptoms to knock on the door, but I have some choice as to how far I let them into my house.
It’s common for those of us who have been impacted by trauma to want to be free from that pain. I have wanted this for myself—to be free from dissociation, grief, triggers, fear, difficulty concentrating, stress, and overwhelm. I am only just now starting to think (years later)… maybe freedom is just over that hill, and maybe I don’t have to put all of these challenges down in order to make it there. Maybe freedom isn’t exactly perfect, or exactly like I pictured it, but it can still be mine. I’m strong enough to make it up that hill with my life experiences—my pain and my joy—in tow.
We love to say “trust the process”, but as we heal, I think we also learn how to trust ourselves. We get to have a say, we get to write the story, and while we might not get to decide what shows up at our door, we can begin to have more control over how far we allow it in.
Final note & reflections
Perhaps I titled this post incorrectly. Perhaps perfection narratives in healing are not about perfection. Perhaps they’re about stoicism, hyper-individualism, coolness, or something else that does not make space for the natural, oscillating rhythms of being human.
Just one journal/thought prompt for you to consider before you go:
Which challenges, if any, are necessary for you to leave behind in order to embark on your healing journey?
Which challenges (beliefs? experiences? memories? lessons?) are you willing to bring along with you?
