All about emotional triggers | Part 04: Coping with triggers
In the last post, we learned about the four common responses to triggers (and to stress in general): fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.
We were reminded that when these responses are triggered in response to past trauma, this is different than when we are using these responses to escape or deal with a current threat. When past trauma is triggered, our body is perceiving an old threat in the here-and-now.
Today, we’re talking about coping with triggers, which for some folks, can be a major part of trauma treatment. It’s possible to move toward freedom from these scary and painful experiences.
Coping with triggers is not about stopping them altogether, but increasing our options when they arise so we have more flexibility and freedom in how we respond.
Recovery is not about feeling “zen” all of the time
Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses are the result of a dysregulated nervous system. The brain tells the body there’s a threat, and the nervous system either ramps up or slows down to deal with it. When we’re dysregulated, we’re outside of what’s called our window of tolerance, or the zone of nervous system arousal where we feel safe, calm, and happy.
As you can see in the diagram below, we are not meant to be neutral all the time. Everyone, even folks without a trauma history, experience fluctuations and dysregulation. Our nervous system is constantly responding to our environment.
Coping with triggers means that we still experience highs and lows, but they become less extreme as we begin to regulate them. We can “catch” ourselves before our responses move into full-blown fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Triggers begin to happen less often and with less intensity. This is a process that takes time and patience, as we rewire our brains and create new river branches in our neural pathways.
Click to enlarge. Source: sydneyaddictionsrecovery.com
How to cope
Triggers are not entirely unavoidable. As trauma survivors know, they can come out of nowhere. So, it helps to build a toolbox of skills to help lessen their impact or soothe yourself when they happen (it’s normal if you still get triggered, even after years of treatment).
Each person needs to build their own personal, individualized toolkit for coping with triggers. Below is a non-exhaustive list of some evidence-based approaches that you can incorporate into your healing work, or perhaps that you’re already working on.
There is hope for lessening the impact of emotional triggers.
Preventative strategies (before triggers arise)
Vigorous exercise: helps to regulate mood and keep you in your window of tolerance
Sleep and rest: helps you to keep your thinking brain online and respond calmly
Creating a plan: when you’re not triggered, write a simple plan for how you can respond when triggers do arise
Naming and getting to know your triggers: this can help you anticipate and recognize triggers and respond to them knowing that these are not current threats, but traumatic memories
Responsive strategies (during and after triggers arise)
Mindful awareness: mindfulness builds the power of the thinking brain to resist takeover from the fear centres of the brain
Relaxation and grounding techniques: learn a few techniques to use when you’re feeling triggered, such as breathing exercises, counting exercises, or holding a soothing object
Self-touch: touching yourself in a gentle, soothing way, such as a hand on the heart or a big self-hug, can activate a soothing response in the brain
Taking time away: changing your environment by going outside or leaving the area can help complete the stress response, especially if your body wants to escape/flee
Sources: verywellmind.org, healthline.com
Coping strategies are very individual and there is no universal approach. The above suggestions are intended as examples. If you find that your reliable coping strategies are not working as well as they once were, that can be a sign to speak with a therapist.
A note on so-called “unhealthy” coping
Traumatic stress can be a debilitating and challenging experience, and many of us turn to coping mechanisms that may be considered unhealthy. These may include substance use, risky behaviours, avoidance, self-harm, withdrawal, and others.
In my work with clients, there is no shame or judgement placed on coping or survival. These behaviours might not feel the best in the long term, but they are effective in protecting us from emotions or memories that can be overwhelmingly painful. We do not name coping strategies as maladaptive, unhealthy, or morally wrong; they are simply neutral. We will, however, identify what feels most helpful, what the limits of these behaviours should be in order to feel safe, and explore plans for shifting these as your repertoire of coping mechanisms expands to include more helpful and gentle techniques. The more options you have available to you, the more freedom of choice you have when triggers arise.
It is normal to want to avoid what hurts.
Final note
We are not meant to heal on our own. What I have outlined here are ways in which you can soothe yourself when you’re triggered (self regulation). However, soothing in the presence of others (co-regulation) is a vital piece of the puzzle. This is what we’ll cover in the final part of this series, all about triggers and relationships.
