All about emotional triggers | Part 03: Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn
In parts one and two, we learned what triggers are, how they’re different from ordinary responses to stressful/emotionally charged situations, and what’s going on in our brains when we’re triggered.
Everyone responds to threatening or intensely stressful situations. Our minds and bodies are designed to do that (among other incredible things). We have little control over how we respond, because as we learned in the last post, when we’re threatened, we’re not using our thinking brains. Choice, language, and rationality are not as easily available to us as they usually are, because escaping threat does not require the use of these processes. Those parts of the brain effectively turn off in order to maintain focus on survival.
You may have heard of the fight or flight responses, and the equally important but less talked about freeze or fawn responses. Everyone has these, but as we have learned, people with a trauma history are more sensitive to perceived threats (and the perception is the key here—remember that the mind and body can experience a non threatening situation as threatening because it is processed as traumatic).
So, what can these responses look like? Learning to notice and name your responses to stress or trauma is an important part of building self-compassion and self-soothing skills. This post is intended to be a brief introduction to these four types of trauma responses.
Sometimes, a freeze response can be triggered, which can lead us to be immobile, feeling panicked yet unable to take action.
Below is an overview of each type of survival response with examples. The descriptions are based on a trauma-based response being triggered (as opposed to a regular response to a perceived threat). This means that the response is in relation to a past trauma that has been triggered by a current stressor.
Acting to stay safe:
Fight 🥊
Nervous system is aroused
We feel compelled to move toward the threat
When triggered, can feel like anger, rage, frustration, irritation
When triggered, can look like shouting, conflict, physical fighting, or aggression
Flight 🏃🏻
Nervous system is aroused
We feel compelled to move away from the threat
When triggered, can feel like panic, anxiety, overwhelm, or worry
When triggered, can look like leaving, avoiding, moving, or fidgeting
Fawn 🐰
Nervous system is aroused, then arousal begins to decrease as the threat persists
We feel compelled to move toward the threat (when there is no option to fight or flee)
When triggered, can feel like hyper-awareness, powerlessness, or flatness
When triggered, can look like compliance, crying, helping, following, avoiding, or appeasing
Withdrawing to stay safe:
Freeze ❄️
Freeze tends to happen when the above do not work. It can be triggered in life-threatening situations.
Nervous system deactivates and arousal decreases
We feel compelled to withdraw to escape threatened pain or harm
When triggered, can feel like depression, numbness, shame, or hopelessness
When triggered, can look like dissociation, immobility, spacing out, or collapse
———
Sources: rubyjowalker.com, as adapted from Cheryl Sanders, Anthony Wheeler, and Steven Porges; sydneyaddictionsrecovery.com
The term ‘fawn’ is used to describe a trauma response that prompts us to appease or calm someone who is threatening us. Remember that this is an attempt to stay safe from harm.
Final note
When our survival response is triggered, it can be hard to get our thinking brain back online to look at the situation from a new perspective. This is something people can work on in therapy through experiencing emotional arousal in a safe, contained way.
Categories like the four Fs are helpful, but they can also be restrictive or not precisely representative of our unique experiences. Sometimes, we experience more than one type of trauma response when triggered. The central thing I try to remember is that all of the four Fs represent resistance—resistance in the face of threat or harm. There is no room for shame, judgement, or criticism when we’re talking about survival. Your body is designed to do incredible things, and the way it has helped you move through life’s biggest challenges are no exception.
Read on to part four to learn how you can start to gain control of your triggers through self-soothing, mindfulness, and relational care.
